Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, “Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn’t show up.”

“Sure,” they said, “You’re welcome.”

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer,

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a hit man,” was the reply.
“You’re joking!” was the response.
“No, I’m not,” he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper’s rifle with a large telescopic sight.

“Here are my tools.”

“That’s a beautiful telescopic sight,” said the other friend, “Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.”

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. “Yeah, I can see my house all right.

This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.
Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she’s naked! What’s that? Wait a minute, that’s my neighbor in there with her.. he’s naked as well!

The bitch!

“He turned to the hitman, “How much do you charge for a hit?”
“I do a flat rate - for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.”
“Can you do two for me now?”

“Sure, what do you want?”
“First, shoot my wife; she’s always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he’s a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.”

The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

“Are you going to do it or not?” said the man impatiently.
“Just wait a moment, be patient,” said the hitman calmly, “I think I can save you a grand here..”