What do you do when you gave EVERYTHING, sacrifice all you’ve got, all your time, all you possibly can into doing something; and I mean practically E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G and things somehow don’t f^ckin turn out the way you want it to?

Angry? frustrated? demoralized? tired??!

Sometimes one wants soo badly to be strong, but at times, one just has to admit that at the end of the day, one is still human.

Focus on the INTERNAL, not the EXTERNAL.

Yeah, of course, but at times when external forces that are beyond your control keeps coming inwards at you, pushing, pushing, pushing, whilst you’re standing there resisting, resisting, resisting… it just DRAINS you, you know what I mean? 

Ever felt that before?

This year… *woosh* not easy, man.

The vibes just aren’t right this time around…

No bed of roses.

Sometimes there’s soo many things to complain about, at the same time, there’s not many people who understand the ins and outs of what we do, what we went and are going through… it CAN be difficult.

What’s the best way to rejuvenate? Go on a break? Go on a holiday???

I wish it was that simple, during one’s employment days, yeah sure, can just forget everything, don’t care, relax, have fun… and still have that “comfy” paycheck at the end of the month…

Not so with this path, unfortunately

Instead of sitting back and “letting the company take care of you, here, YOU are the COMPANY.” Whether it sinks, or whether it flies, it’s all in your own hands.

One wrong move and you’re finished.

One mistake, and you can’t blame anyone but yourself for it. You have to LIVE with it.

Decisions are scrutinized more than usual.

As much as we want to, at the back of our minds, there’s always that nagging, lingering “uneasiness” that until YOU freakin FIX it, the problem will STILL be there when you get back, and NO ONE ELSE will fix it for you, except YOU yourself.

Being the captain of the ship is a B-I-G responsibility. Whether we like it or not, it HAS to be taken care of, “public holidays”, “weekends”, “off days”  just doesn’t exist anymore.

Steering, setting the direction and “growing” it is SUCH a challenge.

There’s soo much stress that goes into it… it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone once asked me, “is money so important meh? is money everything meh?”

My answer: “Yes, it fu^kin is!”  

I’ve had FIRST HAND experience to know what it’s like having close to NO money back during “the days”, so I know how disgustingly hard life can be WITHOUT money.

And to even “think” of re-living those days, NO FU^KING WAY!

Money is not everything, but everything IS money.

Dickhead or not, it’s what I personally believe in.

Still, this is becoming all too TIRING.

I’m starting to ‘get’ what my ex-boss has kept drilling me on non-stop in the past… And I’m sooo not liking it right now….

Oh well, enough of the negative crap, tommorow’s a brand new battle again…

Complain so much also at the end of the day, still have to get back up and freakin’ fight again!

So dear God, please give us STRENGTH.

We’ve been good people (doing lots of charity, teaching kids at the orphanage, should have xtra points rite? hahaha)

Will have to hold on to Master Sifu Oogway’s (from Kungfu Panda) teachings “you just have to BELIEVE…”

Btw, Kungfu Panda’s one of the STUPIDEST, FUNNIEST and most SORHAI shows you can ever watch this year-lah hahahaha… at the same time, in a way, it’s a rather “intelligent” movie, filled with “heart”, if you ask me… so go watch it if you can-lah!

… And you’ll quickly find yourself LOVING fatty Po like craaaaaaaaaazyyyy!!! akakak

Haaaaiiii yaaaaaaah!!!